Real Chicagoans don’t eat deep dish. That’s for the tourists. When out-of-towners come to visit, sure, we’ll take them to Gino’s or Giordano’s for a gargantuan slab of mozzarella, but real Chicagoans aren’t eating that stuff. We Chicagoans are duplicitous about our pizza.
This may come as a surprise, but real Chicago-style is tavern-style, square-cut pizza. Or is it? It’s probably hard to trust us real Chicagoans so soon after finding out we’ve committed a decades-long con, pretending that we eat a lasagna-dish of cheese and call it our pizza.
You’re probably thinking, “Why have real Chicagoans for years been telling me that Chicago-style pizza is deep dish? Why lie about something so trivial?” Well, that’s Chicago, baby! When it comes to the ‘za, we Chicagoans simply cannot be trusted.