Once upon a time, I met the person I’d been asking the universe for. We even met in the exact way I would have wanted to.
I was on a solo rock-climbing road trip and through a series of fateful and unlikely events, we happened to be the only two people staying on a remote farm.
The first evening we met, we had a deep conversation late into the night. From that moment on, we were joined at the hip. We had a roaring adventure — climbing, making love, and road-tripping our way through the country. We poured our souls out and helped each other through tough times. By the end of that road trip, I had committed to moving to his state.
It seemed like the perfect fairy tale. And yet, it wasn’t.
There wasn’t a single moment where I was emotionally secure but there were many moments where I felt deeply lonely.
It was confusing. Wasn’t this exactly what I wanted?
I realized now that I had told the universe what I wanted to do in a relationship but not how I wanted to feel.
Outwardly — we had the same lifestyle goals, the same passions, and the same interests. Inwardly — we communicated feelings differently, resolved conflicts in polar opposite ways, and had mindsets that didn’t align.
We broke up.
When asked, I couldn’t quite express what was wrong, but I knew that nothing felt quite right.