I don’t have a relationship with my blood family. Some connections were broken by me, and some by them. Either way, it was always for the best, and honestly, I don’t miss any of them, including those who have passed on.
Some children become obsessed with the idea that they may have been adopted. I always knew I was related to the members of my family; there was no doubt about that, but I also felt like I was born into the wrong family. I did not belong with them. I did not belong to them.
Maybe that’s why I didn’t bear children. Perhaps I didn’t want to pass along genes that never felt like mine. Maybe I was afraid of birthing a child who was more like my family than me. Then, what would I do? It’s one thing to let go of relatives and another to let go of your own child.