Today I joined a community theater group for the first time in my life. I have always been a fan of films, in fact, one of my first dreams was to be a movie star. When I grew older and realized I was not attractive enough for the big screen, I didn’t pursue acting or even bother to take a class. I gave up on that dream.
I always had big dreams but I would also get disappointed easily after being diagnosed with depression at the age of eighteen. The good things in life were not meant for me, well so I thought, for a long time. Now, I am older and I realize that whatever inhibitions I had when I was young have gone. I don’t get embarrassed anymore.
I compared myself today with a middle-aged man who buys a new convertible or gets a wig to cover a bald spot. Everyone can tell it’s a wig but all embarrassment has been thrown out the window (which I’m sure many of his friends would like to do with the wig that looks more like a Walmart bath mat than hair.)
Then I remembered that I’m middle-aged too. I’ve been middle-aged for a while and hadn’t even realized. I wear leggings and sneakers when I have no intention to exercise, I get upset when I see younger people not wearing coats and yes I have joined a community theater group when I’ve never done any acting before.