Tag: Emotionally

As a psychologist, I work with a lot of people who want to improve their emotional intelligence. But despite all the inspiring podcasts and YouTube videos they consume, they still struggle with it: They get lost in spirals of worry and anxiety They get judgmental with themselves for how t...

We all experience painful emotions: From anxiety and grief to shame and resentment, emotional suffering is universal and unavoidable. And yet, how we respond to emotional suffering varies dramatically from person to person. As a psychologist, I’ve seen first-hand how for many people, emo...

In 2022, I felt the calling to take a step back from work and re-evaluate the things most important to me. I explained my decision in the previous article, “How I knew it was time to quit my job for a career break (and how it is going one year in)”. The TL;DR is that it has been an in...

Most people hear the term emotionally strong and assume that it means the ability to ignore your emotions or not feel them. But that’s dead wrong… Emotional strength isn’t about getting rid of difficult feelings — it means you know how to respond to them in a he...

Most people think they are emotionally mature. Or at least they’re not admitting otherwise. I’ve never had a client say “please help me with my emotional immaturity.” It might be good if they did. Because emotional maturity — intelligence if you like — is th...

“We need help,” a couple in therapy offered as their opening line. They weren’t joking. Their 12-year relationship had deteriorated into a cesspool of conflict, anger and resentment. Neither could speak without triggering an emotionally-charged response in the other. If there...

Most people hear the term emotionally strong and assume that it means the ability to ignore your emotions or not feel them. But that’s dead wrong… Emotional strength isn’t about getting rid of difficult feelings — it means you know how to respond to them in a he...

Most people react to painful emotions in one of two ways: Escape. We try to avoid or outrun our difficult feelings by distracting ourselves — often with something like social media or food. At the extreme end of this strategy, some people are so hell-bent on avoiding difficult feeli...

Most people hear the term emotionally strong and assume that it means the ability to ignore your emotions or not feel them. But that’s dead wrong… Emotional strength isn’t about getting rid of difficult feelings — it means you know how to respond to them in a he...

Most people hear the term emotionally strong and assume that it means the ability to ignore your emotions or not feel them. But that’s dead wrong… Emotional strength isn’t about getting rid of difficult feelings — it means you know how to respond to them in a he...

Most people think they are emotionally mature. Or at least they’re not admitting otherwise. I’ve never had a client say “please help me with my emotional immaturity.” It might be good if they did. Because emotional maturity — intelligence if you like — is th...

Most people react to painful emotions in one of two ways: Escape. We try to avoid or outrun our difficult feelings by distracting ourselves — often with something like social media or food. At the extreme end of this strategy, some people are so hell-bent on avoiding difficult feeli...

So, the man you’re with might not treat you right, but you can’t quite understand why? It’s a tough spot, and it’s something many of us face at some point. Hi, I’m Matthew Coast. In my travels around the world and through my work with people in their relationships, I&rs...

ust over a year ago I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with a man who had strong covert narcissistic tendencies. Adam was deeply intelligent and at first seemed both uncommonly sensitive and kind. His patterns of manipulative and subtly malicious behavior took about three months to show...

1. You always / you never For example: “You always message me after work hours” or “You’re never happy with my work no matter what I do”. What’s wrong with this phrase? Emotionally intelligent people don’t point fingers when they point out issues. They...