I, A Supreme Court Justice, Explain My Preference For Aisle Seats, Chocolate Milk, And Legacy
<p>Hello there, Citizen, with self-inflicted head-scratching wound. Desist thy scratching! I, a Supreme Court Justice who sided with the majority in the Affirmative Action decision, am here to explain the things that confound you: why I prefer aisle seats, why I eat cereal with chocolate milk, and oh yes, why we’ve axed affirmative action, while placing a tender kiss on the forehead of legacy.</p>
<p>Here’s the truth, in the carefully curated manner we see it. Aisle seats offer ready access to the aisle, chocolate is great in pretty much everything, and as for that pesky matter of affirmative action, we’re Originalists and we go by whatever the Constitution says. Except for those times it’s highly inconvenient, like the stuff about three-fifths. The Constitution says we shouldn’t discriminate on the basis of race, hence our decision.</p>
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