The other day I met with a new therapist. It’s an interesting thing to meet someone new when you have a lengthy history with another therapist.
But the truth is I’m not in the same place as when I first started therapy, and it’s useful to start with someone who only knows me for who I am now. They don’t necessarily need to know how I got here. I will share relevant information, but it’s essentially a fresh start with someone new and objective. We haven’t even started yet, but I can feel things bubbling up from the past.
My kids are without a doubt the most important people in the world to me. Some recent introspection has me feeling sorry for several things, but this hits hard for me right now.
Something I’m suddenly dealing with is the awareness that my kids are growing up right in front of me. Not that I wasn’t aware before, but 18 months into sobriety I’m facing the fact that I wasn’t who I wanted to be for the first 10 years of their lives. I wasn’t really there for them the way I should have been.