The Most Valuable Thing I Learned in University Wasn’t in a Classroom

“I think I want to change my major,” my friend’s child, in her first year at university, tells her. I’m not sure how it happened, but I’m at the point where my friends’ kids are going off to college. Some of them are struggling with the transition, which is understandable. At 18, you feel like a mature adult. Now, decades later, I realize how young that actually is. I remember heading off to university. I was nervous, sure, but mainly excited. A good part of the reason I chose my school is how far it was from my hometown. Eight hours drive, far enough that it wasn’t reasonable for me to go home except for holidays. I’d never lived anywhere else, but I still knew my home wasn’t a good place to be. Unlike my friends’ kids, I wasn’t going to my mom with my problems. I had a challenging roommate who, in hindsight, was badly in need of mental health support. It was a daily struggle to live with her neediness, but Mom was the last place I’d go for advice of any kind. You learn that quickly when every vulnerability is weaponized. Had I explained how my roommate’s breakdowns were affecting me, she’d have found a way to make it my fault. I knew this from hard experience. No matter what the situation, in her eyes I was to blame. <a href="https://medium.com/the-narrative-arc/the-most-valuable-thing-i-learned-in-university-wasnt-in-a-classroom-cc84a18f35c4">Visit Now</a>