The Consequences of Eldest Daughter Grooming

Mysister-in-law tried to pay me a compliment last week. She knows I struggle with my family, that I feel invisible and taken for granted. I’m the eldest daughter and that position came with all the typical responsibility and hardship. “It’s not because you’re single and don’t have kids,” she insisted, no doubt because I’ve often complained that much of this feeling of invisibility comes from the observation that my family leans on me a lot, but no one expects anything of my married siblings who have children. “It’s because you’re so reliable and trustworthy. I trust you more than anyone with my kids.” I can’t even begin to tell you how much I wanted this to matter. How much I longed for this to relieve my anger and resentment. How much I thirsted for this praise to water my soul. I am proud of who I am. I know I’ve been a good daughter and sister. I know my family trusts me because I’ve never broken their trust. Because I honor my commitments, I value honesty, and I make good on my word. But doesn’t anyone understand? I don’t even know if I came into the world this way. I only know that I was groomed to be this way. I was molded into this person, as if my parents carved me from a piece of clay like a golem. “I had to be, Viv,” I said, almost desperately. “I didn’t have any other choice but to be this way. I want to say thank you, but what does it matter to have gratitude for being recognized as a person I’m not sure I got to choose to be?” <a href="https://medium.com/liberty-76/the-consequences-of-eldest-daughter-grooming-7d2430330a8e">Visit Now</a>