Subsidence of an Ego

<p>Ahh, the music.&nbsp;<strong><em>&ldquo;Creeping death&rdquo;</em></strong>&nbsp;by&nbsp;<strong>Metallica</strong>&nbsp;blares from my Bluetooth speaker as I sip my morning coffee. The cryptic melodies and dark lyrics light my brain I&rsquo;m sure, unfortunately I don&#39;t have a brain scan handy. My Spotify aptly follows the face melting vibe of Metallica with&nbsp;<strong>Tim McGraw&rsquo;s</strong>&nbsp;<strong><em>&ldquo;Where the green grass grows&rdquo;</em></strong>. It is an eclectic early morning soundtrack I am aware. As Spotify reverts back and forth spastically between soft and heavy, light and dark, and rock and country, I sit here as I often do and sort through my thoughts on life.</p> <p>Memories of my&nbsp;<em>&lsquo;not too distant&rsquo;</em>&nbsp;tumultuous past, serve as a mooring line and tether me to my personal vow of betterment. They also serve as a mental record, that shows me how and why I am here&nbsp;<strong>[and now]</strong>&nbsp;today. I&rsquo;m thinking more and more on recent events and their phenomenology; or, often as well, their apparent synchronicity with my current chosen life course.</p> <p>In the last 3&ndash;4 months I have come to truly embrace the adoption of a new way of life; that of sobriety and self-improvement. During this time, I&rsquo;ve seen things that seem to unfold before me as episodes of what my life would become if I stayed on my former path as a bitter, self-hating, lonely, disillusioned drunk. Those who know me well and love me, watched for years as I wasted my potential as a man; living an aimless life and chasing escape, from the shame of compounded pain that I caused myself and others over the two decades between my first drink and nine months ago.</p> <p><a href="https://medium.com/@rek9er1988_50631/subsidence-of-an-ego-d9bb9cf911d1"><strong>Read More</strong></a></p>
Tags: Subsidence Ego