What REALLY Happens at the Speed of Light
<p>First let's talk about the Baddass Locusts. They get played with by the Gandanglious Unsquidgable Space Cats from the Seventh Senfonian System, so there's that to make them grumpy. But what makes them truly BADASS is the grief they feel for all their fallen sisters and brothers mown down mercilessly by the windscreens of our cars in past decades. Luckily we decided to make most of Earth's ecosystems collapse, so the insects went away and no locusts are ever seen to hit a windscreen now, so, problem solved, no? If you're my age, remember the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bad,_Bad_Leroy_Brown" rel="noopener ugc nofollow" target="_blank">Baddest Man in Town Leroy Brown</a>? They're even BADDER than HE was and <a href="https://genius.com/Loretta-lynn-mrs-leroy-brown-lyrics" rel="noopener ugc nofollow" target="_blank">even BADDER that Mrs. Leroy Brown</a>, and they're waiting out there. They'll return to our story …</p>
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