She’s Stuck in His House

<p>Ifeel like I&rsquo;m stuck in a Westworld host loop, trying desperately to change a pre-programmed outcome. For over two years now, my best friend and I have the same conversation. It&rsquo;s not every time we speak (although there are &lsquo;phases&rsquo; where this happens for days, or weeks before we can speak on anything else). It goes something like this: she calls me in a state somewhere on the spectrum between hissy, shouting, or on the verge of tears. I&rsquo;m treated to a run down on her latest fight with her live-in partner, which I&rsquo;ve usually heard before (many times) because they&rsquo;ve been having the same fights for years. They&rsquo;ve added to the list of things they regularly fight over in that time but nothing has come off that list via constructive resolution.</p> <p>I&rsquo;m not angry at her &mdash; not at all. She did the same for me. Years ago, when I was trapped in my abusive marriage, she was my strongest lifeline. Better than blood ties, she&rsquo;s my found family, sister from another mister. I love her and will continue in this loop until the sun sets on us or the pattern is finally broken.</p> <p>She&rsquo;s known her relationship is no longer functional or healthy for those same two years. Why does she stay?</p> <p>The honest answer: the men who designed our society and drafted this country&rsquo;s laws and built its institutions didn&rsquo;t intend for her to ever have the option to leave.&nbsp;Everything is stacked against her. She knows that she should leave for both their sakes but&nbsp;<em>can&rsquo;t</em>.</p> <p>Having this conversation looping back again dredges up my trauma because, while I&rsquo;ll be the first to admit Leo isn&rsquo;t the sadistic narcissist my ex is, the situation and its restricted &lsquo;choices&rsquo; is familiar to any mature woman who&rsquo;s had a long term cohabitating relationship.</p> <p><a href="https://medium.com/fourth-wave/what-we-do-for-shelter-from-the-storm-de95d34ce80a"><strong>Visit Now</strong></a></p>
Tags: House Stuck