Phoebe Bridgers Is My Own Personal Torture Machine

<p>I am sad, numb, trying to hold on to things that once made me feel alive. And, as the Goo Goo Dolls dramatically sang, &ldquo;you bleed just to know you&rsquo;re alive.&rdquo;</p> <p>Whenever I feel like emotions are a thing of the past and as though someone has scooped the Matilda out of me, that&rsquo;s when I put on my chunky headphones, lay half-naked on my bed, and listen to&hellip;</p> <p><em>Phoebe Bridgers.</em></p> <p>Of course, once I&rsquo;m done listening to all of her albums (starting with the one that feels most like a kick in the stomach,&nbsp;<em>Stranger in the Alps</em>), I then move on to Mitski, the Japanese House, the 1975, and so on. I am starting to unironically believe it&rsquo;s a form of self-harm, because every time I feel like I want to die, all I can do is just&nbsp;<em>add</em>&nbsp;to that feeling by dragging myself deeper through the mud with Phoebe&rsquo;s gut-wrenching music.</p> <p>It all started back in 2020, the pandemic year. It was my first year of university, and I was homebound. In the Netherlands, curfew was at 20:45, so by 21:00, I was sitting at my little desk, preparing for a lecture, while shaking my leg like a maniac. I think I speak for everyone when I say that 2020, the beginning of the pandemic, was an insane mix of emotions. I remember feeling dread, anxiety, fear of the disease, and sadness over the fact that I wasn&rsquo;t having any live lessons. It felt like someone was stealing the most important year of my life while politicians did everything&nbsp;<strong>but</strong>&nbsp;make the situation livable for my peers and me.</p> <p><a href="https://medium.com/three-imaginary-girls/phoebe-bridgers-is-my-own-personal-torture-machine-c3afc6e23f5a">Visit Now</a></p>