The Movie Star and Me
<p>I don’t know how to tell this story. He was a movie star. I was an intern. The musical is my favorite work of art. The producer was my mentor. The president of the theater is my friend. It was a real-life fairytale everyone I knew was entertained by. Yet I couldn’t sleep. I lost weight, my appetite, my self-worth. There’s so much I still don’t understand. I feel ashamed I haven’t moved on. That seeing his name on a billboard or hearing his voice in a trailer can momentarily paralyze me. I tell myself what happened wasn’t that bad, that maybe I’m rewriting history. I remind myself how much I started to want it, him. That I spent a year and a half of my life convinced I was in love with him. This isn’t a story that can be wrapped neatly with a bow, which makes me afraid to tell it. There has never been anything harder for me to write about than my experience on this show with this man: maybe you can make better sense of what happened than I can.</p>
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