I’m a Trans Man, But I Absolutely Hate Men’s Shoes
<p>When I first came out as transgender, I felt a lot of pressure to pass myself off to everyone as a real man. That was a rough time. The world shut down for the Pandemic shortly after I admitted to myself and a few friends that I was transgender.</p>
<p>Alone with the internet and a stuffy closet, I found a formula for what being trans was supposed to mean. There was now a rock-hard dividing line between my past and my future that couldn’t be crossed. The facade of a woman draped across most of my life felt like a lie I’d been living for far too long. The truth was some kind of identity crisis in which I needed to learn from scratch what manhood was and fit myself into this new mold without any official lessons. Like a good student, I spent all day every day researching masculinity, scrubbing the dirt off of the grimy mirror that was my self-image to decipher who I really was underneath all of these weird societal expectations.</p>
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