Why I Needed To Stop Just Taking Action

I used to be shy. Incredibly shy! So shy that (until the age of 12) I couldn’t bring myself to ask for water at a family friend’s house. I rarely spoke up at school — absolutely dreaded being called upon. There was even a time (at age 7) when I couldn’t bring myself to interrupt a dance class long enough to ask to go to the bathroom. The sheer fear of having all those eyes on me was enough to keep me silent. All the way up to the point where pee was running down my leg. Yeah…shy. But why? <h1>From Thinker to Doer</h1> I think it was largely because I thought too much. I overthought every interaction before it happened — tried to calculate all the events that might unfold. I tried to predict everything before I did it. My need to predict people carried on for a long time throughout my life. But I quickly learnt how to overcome my shyness. A couple of years into high school, I began to notice a change. Perhaps I was growing more confident in myself, or maybe the protection mechanisms I had as a child were no longer serving me. Either way, I began to grow a tougher outer shell. Now, when I was called upon, I would push. I’d snap back with humour or some sassy comment. I’d turn off my brain and let impulse take over. It landed me in trouble from time to time, and the boys stayed away for fear of being burnt. But as far as I was concerned, it was better than peeing my pants in an auditorium. For the first time, I felt in control. Even if it was just an illusion. <a href="https://medium.com/age-of-empathy/why-i-needed-to-stop-just-taking-action-57cfa648f974">Learn More</a>