If You Support My Abuser, You Are Not A Good Advocate For Survivors of Sexual Violence

Dear Ashton and Mila, Why do so many celebrities and their friends publicly vouch for the character of convicted sex offenders? I’m a survivor of multiple instances of sexual violence, dating back to childhood. In spite of this, I’ve seen justice precisely one time. It was a small glimmer, but an impactful one nonetheless. It also came about decades after the first time someone put me in a sexual situation I had not consented to. A few years ago I went on a date with an upstanding member of my local theatre community and when I tried to say goodbye with a polite hug, he pinned me against my car and assaulted me. While I vented about the incident to friends, I did not initially tell anyone who perpetrated it. And curiously, no one asked. I didn’t bring this one to the police. I would have been happy to speak with them, but I felt the incident would not be something they deemed worthy of their time. There was nothing to be done. But in an attempt to work some of my feelings out, I wrote an essay about the experience and a friend who came upon it suggested that I report the assault to the newly formed conduct committee of our local theatre festival. I wanted to come forward, but I was nervous — especially considering the positive reputation of the person who had assaulted me. Not only was he well-known and liked, but he was an employee of the festival. <a href="https://medium.com/thats-what-she-didn-t-say/if-you-support-my-abuser-you-are-not-a-good-advocate-for-survivors-of-sexual-violence-84b0a8c4143e">Learn More</a>