I Can’t Believe I’m Just Finding Out That I Was Half-Married for Years
<blockquote>
<p>“You’re going to keep going to marriage counseling by yourself?” asks my friend.</p>
<p>“Yes,” I say. “I don’t know what else to do. He says he won’t continue going and things aren’t getting any better in our marriage. If anything, it feels like it’s getting worse. He won’t work with me to fix our issues but he’s not leaving me either.”</p>
</blockquote>
<p>This is my own personal oxymoron.</p>
<p><strong>Couples counseling for one.</strong></p>
<p><em>These are excruciatingly agonizing years.</em></p>
<p>I don’t remember anyone asking me if I was half-married.</p>
<p>I remember sitting with my girlfriends bemoaning my marital woes. I remember having to bend their ears because my husband seemed to have misplaced his.</p>
<p>But I don’t remember being asked if I was half-married.</p>
<p><strong>I do remember other questions.</strong></p>
<blockquote>
<p>“Are you saying your marriage is in trouble?”</p>
<p>“Are you saying you’re not very happy with your husband right now?”</p>
<p>“Are you saying your husband refuses to return to marriage counseling?”</p>
<p>“Are you saying there’s uncertainty in your relationship?”</p>
<p>“Are you saying you’re maritally surviving, not thriving?”</p>
<p>“Are you saying that your husband has checked out?</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Yes, I’m saying all of those things and more.</p>
<p>Worse, I’ve been saying them for one too many years.</p>
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