A Homophobic Televangelist Claims His Gay Sex Tape Is “All A Big Misunderstanding”
<p>“Folks, you know me, I’m probably the biggest fan and disciple of the book of Leviticus in the country, let alone our humble state of Arkansas,” said Palermo. “I love Leviticus so much I even named our beloved church after it. And I read from Leviticus every day. And my favorite passage is the one about gay people going to Hell because I’m so not gay that I’m probably the least gay person on the planet. I’m going straight to straight Heaven when I die! Which brings me to the subject of this address. Last weekend, an incident occurred that in no way accurately reflects the very true fact that I am not gay one bit. However, unfortunately, this incident was caught on tape, and is being held over my head as blackmail, so I thought the best thing for me to do was to just be honest and admit my totally innocent mistake. I’m not going to give in to the blackmail, so the video of my incident will probably soon be released to the public. So let me prepare all you, my faithful flock of Leviticus lovers, because the video will probably look a little bad. It’s not edited, and is one long, uncut take, but the video is being presented completely out of context.”</p>
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