Ending the War With My Body
<p>It’s been two years since my last doctor’s appointment. At that visit our discussion was shrouded by social distancing and early motherhood. It was a time when I desperately begged for closeness and the world replied with a stern and final, “No.” My days were held together with a matching pair of bookends, tiredness, and sadness. The doctor asked me to rate them on a scale from 1 to 10 and I wanted to laugh. I gave birth to those feelings around the same time as my son and everyone knows you can’t compare your children.</p>
<p>As always my blood pressure was high and the doctor talked about my weight. Mercifully she indicated that I didn’t have to worry about it quite yet. I was given a hall pass by society to walk freely in my body for a few more months until it would need to pass inspection. I greedily accepted my temporary bill of health and left the doctor’s office with the casual urgency of a shoplifter.</p>
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