How My Suppressed Emotions Became Thorns

At first, it seemed like a brilliant plan to ignore my emotions. When I decided I would let him go because I love him, I knew the only way I would get through the pain was to numb my feelings. I suppressed it. I wouldn’t let myself feel it. I carried on with a smile on my face, pretending like everything was okay. If I felt nothing at all, then I would not hurt. So I worked and I worked and I worked. I thought I was being strong; resilient, even. I bottled up the uncomfortable emotions and denied their existence. I buried the difficult feelings deep down; locked away in a hidden corner of my heart. I distracted myself with work, mindless entertainment and anything to keep difficult emotions at bay. Numbing and distracting myself from feeling wasn’t the only thing I did to not feel. As an introvert, whenever I was going through some kind of pain or an emotionally difficult time, my first instinct was <a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/emotional-detachment" rel="noopener ugc nofollow" target="_blank">to detach</a> and this is where I excelled. I detached from the world. But little did I know, the emotions I was rejecting were growing silently in the darkness of my being. <blockquote> By refusing to feel my emotions, I was only hurting myself. And the more I avoided them, the stronger they grew, piercing through my very core. </blockquote> I had many excuses as to why I was <a href="https://medium.com/mystic-minds/3-signs-you-have-emotional-wounds-and-how-to-heal-it-ebf7cd071929" rel="noopener">ignoring my emotions</a>. I’m a working woman/mother. What time do I have to be lying in a fetal position on the bed crying and dealing with heavy emotions when there is work and chores to be done? In some cultures, <a href="https://www.jmu.edu/counselingctr/self-help/relationships/vulnerability.shtml#:~:text=Vulnerability%20is%20often%20inaccurately%20equated,However%2C%20vulnerability%20is%20not%20weakness." rel="noopener ugc nofollow" target="_blank">vulnerability</a> is seen as a sign of weakness so I kept going because I am strong. <a href="https://medium.com/modern-women/how-my-suppressed-emotions-became-thorns-e040b89469be">Website</a>