My Emotional Pain and Shame of Sexual Abuse

It took courage to open up and share a small part of my story — So I wish to thank you for taking the time to read and in doing so, taking part of this load from me. I also wish to thank a friend I have made on Medium,  <a href="https://medium.com/u/f00cb7a32114?source=post_page-----a549e9b77dc4--------------------------------" rel="noopener" target="_blank">Shanti C K</a> , for her own painful vulnerability in opening up which in turn, gave me this courage. Thank you so much. <img alt="" src="https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:700/0*ksNoayTj3rwyokwv" style="height:700px; width:700px" /> Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@chrisjoelcampbell?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral" rel="noopener ugc nofollow" target="_blank">Christopher Campbell</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral" rel="noopener ugc nofollow" target="_blank">Unsplash</a> I was only sixteen when my brother-in-law, fourteen years my senior, sexually abused me. My older sister, his fiancé, was in hospital with an ectopic pregnancy. Her first or second, I don’t recall. For years after that incident, I blamed myself and just accepted it as I was this wild child who crashed through her unstable life anesthetizing it as much as she humanly could. And along the way never for once saw the reality for what it sadly was. It was not until becoming a mother myself to my daughter and watching her through her life, growing into a beautiful young woman, and the untangling of trauma I had worked through with my therapist, that I could understand why I lived with chronic self-doubt all of my life. The clarity opened my eyes to see how I had unknowingly permitted people to abuse me in so many different scenarios. <a href="https://medium.com/@c.weiss_48662/the-pain-and-shame-i-feel-from-sexual-and-emotional-abuse-a549e9b77dc4">Read More</a>