A Brief Look at Death Cannons
<p>Why hello there, traveler, and welcome to the "Apocalypse Tour." This is the tour for all those thrill seekers out there who want to see some things that are downright insane. We note the problematic locations, tools, and, in this case, weapons that contributed to species 947's (947 were also known as humanity [hyoo·<strong>ma</strong>·nuh·tee]) entirely predictable end on a tiny, weeny planet called Earth in the year 90,423 XE (what humans may know as 2XXX AD).</p>
<p>Today, we are looking at death cannons, known to the natives there as "guns" [guhnz]. These were metal tubes that could propel even smaller pieces of metal or plastic for the purpose of penetrating the flesh sacs of humans. In the words of xeno-anthropologist Qe're'witz Sod: "The simplicity of the tool implies that humans were aggressive creatures. And also stupid."</p>
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