Covert narcissists will smear you.
Not just when it’s over — while you’re together, too.
Sometimes they say things about you to other people, straight out.
They might tell people that you’re a loser. Or that they’re miserable with you. Or that you make their lives hell.
Even more subtly, they will allow people to say things about you — and not correct them. This gives them plausible deniability, so they can’t be accused of badmouthing you directly.
One way or another, covert narcissists will put you down — so they can push themselves up, by comparison.
They will do it so subtly, you can barely describe what it is they’re doing.
They hide in plain site so that no one has a clue who they really are.
Underneath the “nice-guy” (or gal) exterior is a small, petty, disgruntled, envious, mocking, lying, rage-monster. You won’t see this side of them at first. You won’t see it until their place in your life is firmly established.
Then they will set about taking you down — -without leaving a trace.
Never On My Side
When I first began to notice that my ex was a narcissist, I started reading writers on Quora. The education that I gained there was invaluable. As I learned more about narcissism and asked more questions, I had several people tell me that I should examine the things that had happened in the past — looking for possible smear campaigns.