The 8 subtle habits of the calmest people I know
<p>Recently, I had the hardest time saying no to a social outing even though I wanted to. Up until the point where I eventually declined, I felt myself wavering, trying to reason with myself and justify my reasons with examples of why I felt like I couldn’t go.</p>
<p>Did this process make it easier to say no? Nope! I felt bad for declining eventually. Moreover, I felt bad even though I knew that if I were on the receiving end, I would have gracefully accepted “No” as an answer, given the circumstances and the fact that this was a close friend who was understanding.</p>
<p>Last year, I wrote <a href="https://medium.com/new-writers-welcome/why-is-it-time-to-say-no-and-how-you-can-recover-from-people-pleasing-tendencies-fb9152460994" rel="noopener">an article</a> exploring people-pleasing tendencies and acknowledging that it is okay to say no. Now, I want to take a deeper dive into this topic by exploring ways to say no without actually feeling bad about it. As a recovering people-pleaser, I know that is it difficult to unlearn your “identity” by saying no, but I hope these practices make it easier every day.</p>
<h1><strong>Practice #1: Make It a Habit to Say No Every Day</strong></h1>
<p>Like developing any new habits, the key to saying no is starting small.</p>
<p>The next time you place your Starbucks order, say “No whip cream please,” or “No extra sugar in this please.”</p>
<p>Then try to build it up. “I would love to, but I’m afraid that I can’t today.” “I am honored that you thought of me, but not today.”</p>
<p>Notice that you can decline people without having to overexplain yourself. If you feel like you have to, then adding a “Sorry” may also help with the statement.</p>
<p><a href="https://iamalexmathers.medium.com/the-8-subtle-habits-of-the-calmest-people-i-know-530904af4ab1">Website</a></p>