People always talk about how they’re shocked when partners, friends, or colleagues come out as trans. Maybe it’s because I’m trans/non-binary myself, but I’ve never been surprised.
A lot of friends come out to me. When people tell me they’re trans or LGBTQIA, I just blink and say, “It’s about damn time. So, when do we shop for new clothes? When do I meet your partner?”
The truth is, most cisgender people are blissfully unaware of the strange inner battles a queer person like me faces. This is doubly true for kids at school. The signs are often there, but no one ever seems to notice unless they’re facing it, too.
Things have started to change since I was a kid. Parents are beginning to get a glimpse at what it means to be gender nonconforming as a kid, but there are so many moments where it’s written off as “being a tomboy.”
I don’t blame them for being shocked when their kid starts dealing with gender dysphoria.
Looking back, I see moments that should have tipped me off that I was trans. It took years to find the vocabulary for my identity — agender and nonbinary — so I didn’t come out until my 20s.
I couldn’t talk to anyone about it because I didn’t even have the verbiage for it. The concept of being agender didn’t exist back then — or at least, not in the more widely recognized way it is today.