Why, Hello, Rock Bottom

Maybe things had to get this bad so I could gain clarity about what needs to be done.” Honestly, I have no idea if this is even true, but it’s something I’m trying to tell myself today. I’ve had a lot of different lows and periods of sadness in my life. Lots of trauma and things I’d label minor tragedies. I feel best about myself when I am climbing mountains despite the challenges. When I can feel myself propelling forward rather than weighted down by a smattering of muck that feels like quicksand. A little bit of success feels relatively good, but any little bit of failure feels, ugh, so obvious. It feels like I’m a freshman in high school once again, and my friend Jenny said our friend Pilar complained that “Shannon wants to be deep.” Or maybe it was that I wished I could be deep? I don’t even know anymore. Fourteen was a very long time ago. All I really remember is the shame. Shame like that really does cut into your soul as a kid. I still recall wondering what I’d said or done that meant I tried too hard to be deep. That shame gnawed at me until I bled. Later, I wondered , what does that even mean? That I’m naturally shallow? Or is wanting depth of character or mind a bad thing? <a href="https://medium.com/honestly-yours/why-hello-rock-bottom-748ce9f3ef69">Website</a>