Regret Can Be All-Consuming — a Neurobehavioral Scientist Explains How People Can Overcome It
<p>A friend of mine — we will call him “Jay” — was working for IBM in New York City in the early ’90s. He was a computer programmer and made a good salary.</p>
<p>Occasionally, competitors and startups approached Jay to join their companies. He had an offer from an interesting but small organization in Seattle, but the salary was paltry and most of the offer package was in company shares.</p>
<p>After consulting with friends and his parents, Jay declined the offer and stayed with IBM. He has regretted it ever since. That small company was Microsoft.</p>
<h1>A Closer Look at Regret</h1>
<p>Regret is a very real reaction to a disappointing event in your life, a choice you made that can’t be changed, something you said that you can’t take back. It’s one of those feelings you can’t seem to shake, a heavy and intrusive negative emotion that can last for minutes, days, years <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201205/the-psychology-regret" rel="noopener ugc nofollow" target="_blank">or even a lifetime</a>. Imaging studies reveal that feelings of regret show <a href="https://doi.org/10.1038/nn1514" rel="noopener ugc nofollow" target="_blank">increased activity</a> in an area of the brain called the medial orbitofrontal cortex.</p>
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