The one who slept with his wife’s sister
Hello nice old couple, welcome to my bar. Please, sit, and enjoy. I’m sure you won’t be any trouble, you both look as quiet as mice.
I know you’ve been fu*king my sister. What do you take me for you filthy piece of sh*t?
Fuuuuuuuuuck. OK, just pretend like you didn’t just hear that.
No I won’t lower my voice! You slept with her and you thought I’d never find out.
Alright, I’ve got two options. I busy myself on the floor or I go in the back and leave them to it.
No chance I’m missing this show, I’m staying out here. Hell, I might break out the popcorn.
Man, this argument has been going on for a long time. It’s all getting a little bit awks. Still, at least they’re the only customers in here.
Oh look, a family with young kids is coming through the door. Greeeeaaaat.
Lady please, do you really need to shout c*unt! at your husband just as the five-year-old sits down?
Infidelity rows are fun!
The one who threatened a bad Yelp review *eye-roll*
Hello, welcome. Let’s sit you down and…oh you already have a question. You want a discount? No, I can’t give you a discount for no reason.
Sorry, but I’ll give you a bad Yelp review if you don’t give me one is not a fair reason for me to reduce the cost of your bottle of wine.
You can sit there as long as you like refusing to buy anything but that’s going to be a very boring, very long night for you. Your friends are tucked into their first bottle of Prosecco, are you sure you don’t want to join them?