The Surrender of Mountainous Dreams

Recently I set out to walk up Ben Nevis, the highest mountain in the United Kingdom. The goal was to make it to the top. I made it halfway up, almost. I could tell you how cold, rainy, windy, rocky, and steep it was, but I won’t. I do not believe in reversed bragging rights, just excuses. The New Age idea of manifesting reality would say that I am only as strong as my belief in myself. In this respect, I could have thought my way up the route, but I did not, I made the decision to turn around. That choice relied on a different kind of thinking, which is knowing my limits. In general, my culture and my location on its socio-economic ladder, does not applaud living up to reasonable expectations. I have been taught the bigger the achievement, the more value I have as a person. I have wondered if this ceaseless striving is behind my lifelong struggle with depression — every achievement is never enough, so why bother. As I was climbing down the mountain, clinging to a walking stick, I was thinking that mediocrity is no bad thing. It can keep you safe, comfortable, and more able to live in the moment. If I am not always focused on reaching the next big thing, perhaps I might discover the true beauty of my life. On the bus ride home from the trailhead, I thought about writing a “Never Shall I” list— all the things I can leave undone and still die without regrets. For starters: <a href="https://medium.com/@kitchenpriest/the-surrender-of-mountainous-dreams-c1e8effb20b4">Click Here</a>