When I was first coming out, I wanted, more than anything, to know other transmasculine people. This was a matter of survival — I was facing a new set of obstacles, and I needed guidance from other people who had faced them. It was also just a human need for rest and companionship. I had spent my entire life feeling different. For once, I wanted to be near people who were different in the same way.
Like any intense desire, this one had the power to overcome my common sense. I did make some new friends, and I got closer to the ones I already had, and this was great for me. But some of the trans guys I first wound up knowing were not so great, and it is them I want to talk to you about now.