Local Man Breaks Record for Most Paper Cuts Endured While Assembling Ikea Furniture

In a stunning display of resilience, local man, Steve Thompson, shattered all expectations yesterday by enduring an astounding 113 paper cuts while assembling an Ikea bookshelf. Thompson’s heroic act not only pushed the boundaries of human pain tolerance but also revealed the true depths of his commitment to affordable Scandinavian furniture. Clad in a battle-worn Allen wrench and armed with a screwdriver held high, Thompson embarked on the Ikea assembly challenge with steely determination. Little did he know that he was about to embark on an odyssey of agony, a quest that would forever redefine his relationship with particleboard and allan keys. The first few paper cuts were like mere scratches, battle scars marking the beginning of a true test of willpower. But as Thompson’s thumbs moved in perfect synchrony, the seemingly innocent instruction manual turned into a weapon of mass discomfort. The bland, monochrome illustrations became a sinister trail of blood-soaked breadcrumbs, leading him down a path he couldn’t escape. <a href="https://medium.com/@johnlachlanjames/local-man-breaks-record-for-most-paper-cuts-endured-while-assembling-ikea-furniture-447880440741">Learn More</a>