I ve Spent Years Believing I Was Not Worthy of Love
<p>Until 6 years ago, I carried a belief that I was not worthy of love. I believed that relationships were inherently unstable and unbalanced, and that it was normal for me to give a lot more than I received.</p>
<p>This perspective wasn’t born out of thin air; it was a complex interplay of past experiences, societal influences, and family dynamics.</p>
<p>From a young age, I witnessed relationships around me that seemed to confirm this belief. Whether in movies, TV shows, or even real-life situations, the narrative often revolved around the sacrifice of one’s own happiness for the sake of love. I internalized the idea that love required me to be the giver, the one who bent over backward to meet the needs of others, while expecting little in return.</p>
<p>However, what influenced me the most was the dynamics within my own family.</p>
<p>My childhood memories are dotted with brief instances of affection and care, but these were often overshadowed by emotional turbulence and conditional love. Love, it seemed, was granted when I met certain expectations, excelled academically, or behaved in ways that aligned with my parents’ desires. But when I fell short or made mistakes, love was withdrawn or made to feel precarious.</p>
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