It’s Hard Not to Betray Yourself for Love When You’re Lonely

<p>Sometimes, if I&rsquo;m honest, I want to compromise a little. I want to bend the rules I set for myself. I&rsquo;m lonely, and it would be so much easier not to be if I was willing to wiggle my standards down lower. But lower is how I got here in the first place. Lower isn&rsquo;t going to make me happy.</p> <p>But is this happiness, this creeping sense of isolation? I&rsquo;ve done everything we&rsquo;re told to do when we&rsquo;re alone. I love myself. I enjoy my time alone. I&rsquo;ve curated a beautiful life for myself. I step outside my comfort zone. I jumped out of an airplane, for goodness&rsquo; sake, not once but twice! I am facing my fears and living my life, but sometimes, I just want to fall asleep with another person&rsquo;s arm wrapped around me and the sound of another heartbeat in the room that doesn&rsquo;t belong to a pet or my child.</p> <p>There are days I feel as if I am coming undone, slowly unraveling from the strain of holding it all together and being the one to hold myself as I fall asleep. I want. I&nbsp;<em>want.&nbsp;</em>But I&rsquo;ve come too far to negotiate the non-negotiables. That&rsquo;s how I messed up before. I can&rsquo;t afford to do that now.</p> <p><a href="https://medium.com/curious/its-hard-not-to-betray-yourself-for-love-when-you-re-lonely-d6dc9b8e2573">Website</a></p>