Insult or Innocent Joke? Here’s How to Tell

We all know what it feels like to want to fit in. The primal urge to be liked and accepted can plague us all, and it can be quite anxiety-inducing when we encounter any whiff of rejection. My friend Alise, in particular, knows precisely what this feels like. Born and raised in Latvia, Alise met her husband, Rob, an American, while he was studying abroad. She ended up joining him here in the U.S. when they decided to marry 17 years ago. Everyone in Rob’s family welcomed Alise with open arms — with the exception of Rob’s mother, Gwen, who never really warmed up to Alise. It all came to a head for Alise at the birthday celebration for Rob and Alise’s three-year-old son, Nikolajs. While carrying the cake to the dining room table, Alise overheard Gwen murmuring to a relative, “Poor Niko! He’s got his mother’s gait.” Alise carefully placed the cake on the table and then turned around to find Gwen imitating a cross between a galloping horse and a lumbering ape. Alise was shocked into speechlessness, but her facial expression spoke volumes. And Gwen noticed. Thinking fast, Gwen retorted, “Oh, relax, I was just joking.” <a href="https://medium.com/invisible-illness/insult-or-innocent-joke-heres-how-to-tell-6695935b4391">Read More</a>