Today’s Pirates Have HR Problems
<p>I made sure that the Slack Huddle link was active. I was meeting with Captain Gary “Big Armaments” Chapin and Captain Stephanie “Little Golden One” Wilson. If I was late setting up the link, one of their crews might attack my ship — we did not tolerate such disrespect.</p>
<h2>It’s Hard Out Here For A Pirate</h2>
<p>The news was not good: multiple crew openings on our ships remained unfilled, forcing us to hire less experienced candidates in place in our organization. As a result, our ability to steal, kill, and plunder was down 23% in the last four weeks.</p>
<p>“Ahoy, Mateys,” I said. “Let’s get this meeting started.”</p>
<p>As we begin the meeting. Captain Wilson leaned into her camera. </p>
<p><a href="https://medium.com/u/4f8429aafb2f?source=post_page-----1f11a9215e04--------------------------------" rel="noopener" target="_blank">Stephanie Wilson</a></p>
<p> was livid. Her interview with Andrew, “All you need to do is” Rodwin for the job of boatswain job, had not gone well.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><a href="https://medium.com/u/82df356c19c4?source=post_page-----1f11a9215e04--------------------------------" rel="noopener" target="_blank">Andrew Rodwin</a></p>
<p> balked at Stephanie’s requirement that all her pirate crew get the cutest little tramp stamp right above their bums.</p>
<p>“Shiver me timbers, I don’t know why,” Stephanie said. “I drew the flower cartoons myself. Who ever heard of a pirate who did not want another tattoo?”</p>
<h2>I’d Rather Walk The Plank</h2>
<p>Captain </p>
<p><a href="https://medium.com/u/f09669c919ca?source=post_page-----1f11a9215e04--------------------------------" rel="noopener" target="_blank">Gary Chapin</a></p>
<p> spoke softly but quickly, so we knew he was furious. The penguin on his shoulder <em>leaped </em>from his shoulder to the deck to avoid his rage as he slammed his accordion down against the table.</p>
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