Four Years Later, We Still Grieve the Loss of Our Business
<p>“I dreamt we still had the shop.”</p>
<p>The words are thick coming out of his mouth, and his eyes are shut tight. He is postponing the reality that’ll confront him when he wakes.</p>
<p>I’m standing in our bedroom doorway and hesitate a moment before going to him.</p>
<p>This is called self-preservation.</p>
<p>So far, I’m having a great morning. I’ve had my hair cut and styled. I’ve gone on a nice long walk with the dog and spent an hour drinking creamy coffee while wandering around the house, watering my plants while whispering sweet somethings to their chlorophyll-rich leaves.</p>
<p>Do I really want to get wrapped up in some complicated moment brought on by a dream?</p>
<p>This is what my head is thinking. Meanwhile, my heart is propelling my body towards my husband, who is curled into himself in bed. I climb atop his body. I transform myself into a security blanket. I kiss his ear and the top of his head. I smell his sleepy body and think about how creepy it was that I just did that.</p>
<p>But then I get a little love-drunk from his scent, and I do it again — creepiness be damned.</p>
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