Don’t Trust Your Gut in Romance — It Might Fool You
<p>“After that first night, I knew she was the one,” my client said.</p>
<p>“It just felt right. had no doubts we’d end up together — marriage, kids, all of it.”</p>
<p>He was sitting on my therapy couch with his head in his hands. The woman he had so confidently called “the one” had taken him to Hell and back with her erratic, toxic behaviours.</p>
<p>He’d finally managed to leave the relationship but his heart, his mental health, his spirit and his finances had been shredded. His three kids lived in another city and he worried about them constantly.</p>
<p>“How could I have been so horribly wrong?” he said.</p>
<p>And, then, the kicker.</p>
<p>“Will I ever be able to trust someone again?</p>
<h1>The dazzle of emotions and hormones</h1>
<p>Our trust radar kicks in from the moment we meet someone we’re attracted to. Without even realising it, we’re scanning for clues we can trust them.</p>
<p><em>Will you text/call/show up when you say you will? Do you look like your profile pic? Do you follow through on our plans? Do you genuinely like me? Can I count on you? Should I take a leap of faith?</em></p>
<p>The problem is, we’re too dazzled by emotions and hormones in the early stages of a relationship to give those questions our full attention. To be fair, most relationships would never work if we started out suspicious — looking for the worst in each other.</p>
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