How Losing Everything in Prison Helped Me Create a Better Life

On a scorching hot day in Folsom state prison, a guard passed me a note thru the bars of my cell. It said, “Your mom is in the hospital.” Eight days later, my mom died. Externally, I had to exhibit that “I don’t give a shit” attitude so others didn’t think I was weak. Internally, I was completely, 100% devastated. I was struggling to deal with a shit storm of negative feelings every minute of every day. I was consumed with anger, bitterness, rage, depression, guilt, self-hate, and shame. In my cell, I cried into a pillow so other inmates didn’t hear me expel my burgeoning grief. It got worse. I learned that the prison warden didn’t grant me a 12-hour pass so I could go to the funeral. I never got a chance to see my mom one last time. But I took some comfort knowing my wife was still there for me at this extremely low point in my life. Then things took a darker, even more devastating turn. Five weeks later, my wife left me. I was now at the lowest point of the abyss. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. The depression was getting worse each day. I lost everything: my freedom, my mom, my wife…and my hope. <a href="https://medium.com/@charles_30927/how-losing-everything-in-prison-helped-me-create-a-better-life-281642cd228a">Click Here</a>