Seven Ways Running Helped Me Cope With My Brother’s Death

My brother died on July 9, and the only run I missed while caretaking and grieving was on July 9 itself. Did I feel guilty going for my runs as my brother fought pancreatic cancer? Absolutely. I felt like a heartless, insensitive, and selfish bitch. Yet, something pushed me out the door. Manny was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in June of 2022, but he kept it private. When I commented on his weight loss during a FaceTime call in September 2022, he told me that he had quit carbs. I believed him because he lived in LA and quitting carbs is what people in LA do. I live on the east coast, run, and eat lots of carbs. In November 2022, five months after his diagnosis, he finally told me about the pancreatic cancer, but, he assured me, they had caught it very early. I visited Manny in April 2023, and he had just completed radiation treatment. The cancer had not spread, and he was a candidate for surgery. The family was hopeful. That’s all we could be. Maybe he would be the one person who beat pancreatic cancer. While I was visiting, he got the good/bad news that the cancer had not spread, but his markers were high, meaning despite the surgery, the cancer was likely to come back. For the first time, Manny was somber. Unfortunately, come May, the cancer had spread to his bones, and the surgery was canceled. <a href="https://medium.com/runners-life/seven-ways-running-helped-me-cope-with-my-brothers-death-d294fefa1038">Click Here</a>