I Believe You’re An Asshole
<p>I am a devout believer in the Divisionist religion. The First Amendment guarantees the free exercise of my beliefs, and I believe you are an asshole.</p>
<p>Divisionism tells us there are two kinds of people. The Divine Divisionist’s “One True Path” divides all humanity into the good “Righteous,” and the evil “Assholes.” We righteous know what is good and right, and the rest of you assholes don’t have a clue.</p>
<p>You assholes engage in all manner of intolerable behavior. I pray for you not to be an asshole, but it has had no effect. You continue to be an asshole.</p>
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