Anxious thoughts part 1
<p>I stand in the rain. Edinburgh rain — the kind that lingers almost permanently regardless of season — lends itself well to a sombre mood, the greyness of thought that has made itself comfortable in my head since the ’90s. I ordered an Eggnog Latte having never drunk proper eggnog in my life, and the attempt at being festive is just a reminder I shouldn’t have caffeine. It also makes it difficult to fish around for my debit card for the bus.</p>
<p>My anxiety is through the roof and, staring along the road in search for the glowing lights of the 26, I wonder why. Could it be that I am jobless? That I left a company I was comfy at for what I thought was my big break and quit three weeks later? Or could it be I am still crippled with grief from the sudden loss of two family members? Surely not. It’s because I’m broken, I think to myself, rather than acknowledging any number of rational reasons that might explain why I can never catch my breath.</p>
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